I have some heart breaking news. Church will never be as much fun as the xBox is. Sorry to be the one to break that to you, but it is a solid fact of life. If you were to ask most kids what they wanted to do, it would be rare that you would find a kid who will say, "Hang out at the church." So how is that we get kids into the church?
From my experience, only one thing gets kids who are not in the church into the church: relationships. Humans are social creatures and being such, we long to do what people we like and respect do. Going to church is one of these things.
One of the ways we use relationship is using kids to bring their friends. When a kid says to his friends, "Do you want to go to 6 flags with me and my church. We'll meet up at the church, take church vans, pray before we go, and represent Christ," all the friend hears is "Do you want to go to 6 flags BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH," (that is a scientific fact, there have been papers and stuff on it). The best recruiters out there are your own kids. Make sure you foster a welcoming environment.
The other type of relationship is the adult student relationship. This should be the relationship where your kids get most of their spiritual growth. Think back to your youth pastor/leader as a kid. (S)he was someone who was always willing to facebooked/aimed/e-mailed/snail mailed/currier pigeoned you anytime you needed to talk. Someone who would always hang out. Someone you respected and liked. Aim to mimic that.
Building those relationships is tough. In my opinion, it means first chasing after a kid. I've always believed that all great student pastors are secretly good creepers (well no, not really, and please don't quote that). Be willing to go to the schools to have lunches, go to sporting events, visit kids at work, call and text them and add them on facebook. Obviously do not push yourself on a kid to the point you could even remotely be considered creeping, but put yourself in their environment. I knew one YoungLife guy who was not allowed to eat lunch at the schools so he instead sit in the high school parking lot at the end of the day when it let out just to get facetime with students. It is unfair to expect a kid to come to church when you have yet to visit them in their environment.
Step two is persist. Do not give up on a kid. Not all kids will become the next Billy Graham or even want to consider a relationship with Christ even if you do everything right, but do not get up on them. One of my favorite memories was a kid who I knew at an old job who I knew for years and who I could not get to step foot in the church despite her family being super invovled. When I left, she came to my going away party and told me that I meant a lot in her life and with her faith in God. I cried like I do when I watch Titanic. That was ministry, even if there was not an ounce of getting plugged in with it.
Lastly, do what you can to get the kid plugged in. Not all kids are going to be youth group or bible study kids. That is ok. Find a ministry that they can get plugged into and be humble if its not yours or even at your church. One of the hardest things I ever have to deal with is when a major church parent comes into my office and says, "My kid wants to go to another church where they have a lot of friends." As a youth pastor, I want all the kids who's families are in the church to be involved in the youth group, but sometimes God has a way of saying, "It is not about what's best for you, its what is best for the child." You need to be at the point where you are comfortable saying "come to our programs" or "go to these programs at another church, I think they would fit you better" depending on the situation. Before you know it, other youth pastors will be pushing kids your way when they feel it is best and all will even out.
Relationships are 90% of student ministry in my opinion. Consciously work on them. New Christians are earned, not found.
God Bless,
Schutte
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